Dr. Phil's show today was outstanding. If you missed it and you have a tweenager or a teenager, I recommend you watching it from Dr. Phil.com. It was awesome. It was about tween/teen sex. There were three sides to the issue. There was an abstinence only freak on there who sounded totally stupid. There was a teenager, who had taken the freak's program at school and church. And the one who made the most sense was Reverend T.D. Jakes. He believes in the approach Tom and I take in our home which is to teach them self respect, respect for their future, respect for the person they care about, our values and beliefs in our home (which comes directly from what the Bible says about premarital sex), but we also teach her the medical side of the issue, which is what is going on with their body and their mind and how neither their body nor their mind is ready to have sex at early ages, and sexually transmitted diseases. I have heard Brittanie quote me to one of her friends in saying "Pregnancy is the BEST outcome of premarital sex. There are so many other things that are FARRRR worse that could happen when you have sex before marriage....condom or not!" So far so good. A teenaged boy that pushes for premarital sex is NOT respectful of himself or the girl he claims to care about. One thing I also did with Brittanie is to start talking to her about her body very early....I believe it was around 8. We had numerous talks about sex. I would give her more information as she got older.....age appropriateness. I truly believe it is a building block. I believe we have equipped Brittanie with all of the information she needs to stay abstinent until she is married. If she chooses to throw away her self respect and the family values she was raised with, then she is making a conscious and informed choice and can't come back to us and tell us "I wish you had told me."
Last week she came to me and told me that her youth pastor is scheduling a "Silver Ring Thing" seminar/program at church and she would like to participate. The Silver Ring Thing is church youth ministry to promote abstinence until marriage. She already wears a ring that says "True Love Waits" but she wants to continue educating herself in this area, especially before she goes off to college. I am thrilled. I think it will just enhance what we have already taught her and also makes me feel that we taught her the right thing in regards to premarital sex.
I will say that I'm 100% against the school educating my child about sex. That is NOT their place to say anything about sex to my child. That's MY job. I understand that not all parents take their responsibilities as a parent seriously so some of those kids will only hear about sex at school. I think that is why teen pregnancies and STD's are out of control in our country. I blame the parents....especially the boy's parents. We need more parents to teach their kids respect for themselves and respect for their girlfriend or boyfriend. There was a girl on Dr. Phil that said she wished she had access to condoms when she was 12 and maybe she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. I'm sorry but a child having sex at 12 is a slut and no condom is going to help that. (This is where my friends say "Don't hold back! Tell us how you really feel." hehehe) But it disgusts me that kids are running around like dogs in heat while the parents do nothing and pretend it isn't happening. If you haven't talked to your child by 12 about sex, you are in danger of being a young grandmother or grandfather.
And while I'm on this subject...it isn't the church's job to teach your child about abstinence either. While our belief that premarital sex is wrong, we teach Brittanie based on the Bible AND instilling in her a sense of self respect and self esteem and protecting her future. Pregnancy and STD's can ruin your future. Brittanie's youth pastor at Grace lost a sister in her 20's right after she gave birth. She was married but she got a blood clot 2 weeks after she gave birth and died! That could happen to a 20-something AND a teenager. And we all know certain STD's can kill you and/or cause cancer!
See how important and involved this subject is? Do you trust the school system to teach your child something this important??? I sure don't and never will. That our job as parents.
I have another Katieism. Tonight after her bath, she was eating dinner and wanted to go ask Brittanie something. I told her no because Cameron has to leave in an hour and I didn't want her bugging them. She said "Awww! I hope the next time Cameron comes here Brittanie will be at a concert so he can play with me. I bet he is bored." I said "You think he is bored with your sister?" She said "Yep. I bet he is as bored as a zebra on a skateboard."
Where does she come up with this stuff?? I loved that she wants Brittanie to leave so she can have Brittanie's boyfriend all to herself. One night Brittanie got home late from cake decorating class and Cameron was here at the house just playing all kinds of games with Katie in her play room while waiting. She has adored him ever since!
