Mom's a meanie now.

It has been such a struggle to get Brittanie to do everything listed on the list that I created over a year ago that outlines how to clean the kitchen. Basically, she has been doing the dishes and nothing else....that's on good days. Some days even the dishes don't get done. Last week she told me she wanted to take over the laundry since J isn't here anymore so she could earn that extra $20 a week. I agreed but told her that she cannot do her usual thing with the laundry and that is string it out for a week to where it never gets totally done. I won't have it. Well she did all but one batch. That batch has been sitting in front of the dryer in a basket...clean and ready to be folded/hung since Sunday afternoon....it is Thursday. I was getting madder by the day. So yesterday I decided that if she can't do what she is told then why should I reward her? I used to love to do things for her and buy her things because she used to go above and beyond what we ask. But in the past year that has not been the case and since she fell in love it has gotten worse. So yesterday, Tom and I came up with a new game plan. I typed it up and read it to her last night then handed it to her and asked if she had any questions. She was mad, said no and went upstairs. I hate that she is mad at me but parenting is not about being popular. I have to raise her to understand that in this life you work for what you get because NOTHING is handed to you....and shouldn't be just handed to you. So here is what it said:

Earning potential

$20 a week for doing EVERYTHING on the kitchen list EVERYDAY! If you miss even one item or one day, you get nothing for the week. This one is mandatory. The rest are up to you if you want to earn some extra money….you are going to need it.

$25 every other week for dusting the entire bookcase (can only dust around my computer equipment and the books….everything else has to come off, be dusted under, and replaced) as well as dusting the lamps and Windexing the glass…inside and out.

$25 a week for cleaning both bathrooms downstairs….that means in and around the toilet…even under the lid….sweeping and mopping the floors, Windexing all mirrors, scrubbing the bathroom counters, sinks, shower, and tub, and emptying the garbage in the bathrooms.

$2 for every day that you vacuum the living room, hall, and bedrooms. This includes getting the crevice tool to do around my desk and under our foot rest for the recliners on the sofa.

$2 for every day that you mop Katie’s play room

$5 a week for Windexing my monitor, the TV, and the glass on the TV stand as well as dusting the end tables, fireplace (including the mantle), TV, DVD player, VCR, speakers, subwoofer and phone.

Your responsibilities

1. You are to do your homework as soon as you walk through the door. You are to do NOTHING else until ALL of your homework is done.
2. You are to be in bed by 10pm.
3. You are to keep your room and bathroom clean.
4. You have to take your medicine like you are supposed to.
5. You are to tell me when you finish each chore, so I can go inspect in order to get proper credit. I will keep records of how much you have earned.

We will no longer be paying for your make-up, clothes, highlights, tanning, movies, concert tickets, football game entries, or spending money for anything else. We will pay for your contact lenses. But you HAVE to earn your own money for everything else that is not food, tampons, shampoo/conditioner, and medications. (But when I take you places, I will not pay for you or your friends to eat out. That is entertainment because you could have eaten at home. You will have to pay for that yourself.) We buy bar soap for baths. If you would like bath gel instead, you will have to buy that yourself. We will not buy gifts for your friends from you. The Christmas gift I buy for Justin will be from me, your dad, and Katie. You have to pay for his gift yourself. I will be marking down everytime you don’t do the kitchen and don’t go to bed at 10pm, and you will owe me $5 for the next time I take you somewhere besides school and church….and an additional $5 to pick you up. You have the potential to earn $362 a month or you can do nothing and owe me money.

If this doesn’t motivate you to live up to your responsibilities in this family, my next step will be to talk to First Sgt. about this situation and maybe he can find a way to motivate you.

Sounds harsh? Well I have been trying everything to get her to plug into this family and do what she is told and all the talking in the world doesn't help. She improved for awhile after I talked to First Sgt. a few weeks ago. But recently she has gotten worse than before because she is on the phone or the internet talking to Justin instead of taking care of her responsibilities first. I don't mind her talking to Justin. I adore Justin. He is a wonderful boy. But she has to realize that she has to take care of her responsibilities first then spend time with Justin. If Tom and I spent all of our time making googlie eyes at each other and talking 24/7 instead of working or taking care of our other responsibilities, we would be homeless and starving. She needs to get her priorities straight because they are talking about going to the same college. If she doesn't get those priorities straight now, they won't finish college. They will do exactly what Tom and I did....spend every spare minute together instead of studying, leave college, and get married. Unfortunately, Justin isn't the computer genius Tom is and neither is Brittanie so chances are the outcome won't be the same for them as it was for us. Plus we struggled ALOT when we first got married. If it wouldn't have been for my parents buying food for us, we would have gone hungry. I don't want that to happen to Brittanie. So I'm trying to fix this now. If she lets her grades fall, she won't even get into college then I will feel guilty for not cracking down on her before. Tom said at first that it sounded mean. I told him mean would have been punishing her from seeing Justin outside of school. I didn't do that. But that is a consideration. I definitely don't want to do that. This is the first time I have seen her truly happy since 3rd grade. Those mean pseudoChristian kids at Grace took away her smile, her self esteem....everything. But now she is really happy and I want it to stay that way. But she has to get her priorities in order and that's what I'm trying to help her with. She may be mad at me now but she will thank me later. At least this way, if she makes money here at home, there will be time to talk to Justin on the phone. The alternative is to get a job outside the house....like at IGA, Little Pizza Shop, Food Lion, Wendy's, etc. Then she definitely won't have time to talk to Justin. My schedule is also more flexible than one of those jobs because I'm willing to work around her rifle team, color guard, football games, etc.

Yall let me know what you think!!