Sunday, October 21, 2007

Win or Lose, Clemson still stinks!


Q: What do you call 2 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the BCS Championship Bowl game?
A: The Clemson Tigers coaching staff.


Q: What do the Clemson Tigers Coach Tommy Bowden and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ ".


Q: How do you keep an Clemson Football Coach out of your yard?

A: Put up goal posts, a first down marker, or an end zone.


Q: What do you call a Clemson Coach with a BCS National Championship Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why was Tommy Bowden upset when the Clemson play book was stolen?

A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.


Q: What's the difference between the Clemson Tigers Coaching Staff and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Clemson Tigers Coaching Staff and possums have in common?

A: Both play dead at home (and get killed on the road).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. How come Gamecocks don't drink Kool-Aid? Because thay can't figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in the little package

2. Did you hear about the South Carolina fan that locked his keys in his car? He couldn't get his family out.

3. One day in an elementary school in Columbia, SC, a teacher asks her class if the South Carolina Gamecocks are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Clemson Tigers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Tiger fan, my mom is a Tiger fan, I guess that makes me a Tiger fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a South Carolina fan."

4. What do South Carolina and pot have in common? They both get smoked in bowls!

5. What's the difference between a South Carolina fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

6. Why do University of South Carolina fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.

7. What do you call a good looking girl on the University of South Carolina campus? A visitor.

8. Did you hear about the fire in the University of South Carolina's football dorm that destroyed 20 books? The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

9. What does the average University of South Carolina student get on his SAT? Drool.

10. What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the South Carolina Gamecocks? Six more weeks of bad football.

11. What did the South Carolina graduate say to the Clemson graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

12. How do you get a South Carolina graduate off your front porch? You pay for the pizza.

13. What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbia? Clemson: 187 Miles

Nette said...

LOL Ok Scott, those were funny (except for #7....my daughter is beautiful and will be there next year) but hey I'm impressed that a Clemson fan can copy and paste! Good job!! hehehe

Anonymous said...

Since Brittanie is currently not officially a student of USC that makes her a visitor.